Snarkiness

“Duh!”

“Really. . .” (not said like a question)

“Whatever. . .”

These words are the new teenage vocabulary of my home. 

A couple of days ago, I found myself correcting a teen at least 5 times for various things she said to various siblings.  In each case, she defended herself, so that my critique sunk to the level of word definitions.

Case in point:

She:  Next year you should help with worship because you’re overly-enthusiastic.

Sibling:  Mom!  _____’s being snarky again.

She:  What did I do?  I was giving you a compliment!  Enthusiasm’s a good thing!

Me:  The word “overly” automatically makes whatever you said a criticism.

She:  No it doesn’t! 

Sibling:  Yes it does!

Me:  Overly means you’re doing something too much.  So the minute you use that word, you make whatever you said a criticism.  (Meanwhile thinking, do I really need to explain this to an honors English student who hopes to read at least 60 books this summer?)

She:  OK, OK.  You are very enthusiastic, is that better?  (all in the snarkiest of tones)

Sibling:  Mom!   ____’s being snarky still!

To one “duh” to many, I even had to invoke Jesus.  “You are SINNING when you say ‘duh’ to someone’s honest question.  The word ‘duh’ is basically saying you’re an idiot.  And what does Jesus say to folks calling each other an idiot?”

She:  (with a lot of eye rolling and sighs)  That it’s bad I assume.

Me:  Jesus says saying “Raca” is the same as murdering them.  “Raca” supposedly means telling someone he’s an idiot.   So to Jesus, your “duhs” may be just as bad as murder. 

That didn’t seem to sink in, so I threatened to charge $1 for every negative thing anyone said to someone else.

Summer. . .  I'm OVERLY not coping thus far. . .